Dear Mommy, remember in the last letter I told you about Thor? He’s great, however he is one of my only lights in this dark prison.

Some of my problems are:

• I can’t go unto furniture ever since my little accident that I will not mention right now.
• I can only go unto my bed and the rug.
• Audrey leaves often; everyday!
• They put me in my kennel when they leave (even though I go in there when you leave anyway), and Thor gets to roam the house!
• When I go out I have to go on a leash (most of the time) because of an incident that happened years ago, everyone thought I ran away even though I was going to change into my alter ego Super Whiny Dog and no one should see me do that!

But there are a few high points too, like every weekend we get to watch a movie (but usually the prison wardens get to pick). This weekend we watched a really scary movie! A guy kept turning into a rabbit and (even scarier) a rabbit kept turning into a person! I whimpered near Audrey, but Thor was not afraid! I guess because he’s so big he’s not.

The prison wardens really dislike my singing; I try to sing softly but I cannot! I start out quietly but soon I just start belting out the chorus. Then I get told to be quiet and stop yapping. I try to tell them I’m singing a melody but the prison wardens don’t appreciate really good music. Thor thinks my singing is good but he says he prefers Deep Dog music, I think that he really likes it but won’t admit it.

I also sing and dance to tell the wardens that someone is visiting, but they don’t like that either. They make Thor and me go sit in front of the kitchen and ‘say hi’ but it’s never for us. Why do they make us do it then? When someone comes they also tell us to be quiet but I have a welcome song for them. I wish sometime soon someone would find my true talent and when I get famous I’ll show the prison wardens a thing or two.

Thor tries to comfort me and sometimes he helps me, sometimes not. He tells me my singing is great (I knew he liked it), but when I start singing for him I get yelled at and my problems worsen. He also tries to smooth my hair, but I’m a lady and can do it myself. He also protects me from a evil black thing called a Bowling Ball.

A few problems comes from Thor.

• He (not purposely) slobbers a lot, sometimes I let him finish up my food and his slime is all over the bottom.
• Another problem is that he’s not ‘civilized’. I guess his problem is that he was not brought up correctly, he chews his paw in the presence of a lady (me), he eats with his mouth open, he sheds a lot, and he snores. I might have to find him some nasal pads or something (and a book of manners).
• He also walks by me and I’m afraid he might step on me.

Dear Mommy I miss you. Please come here soon and post my bail.

Love,

Flopsy.