The True Story of Snow White: Part Two

As soon as the king and queen discovered that Snow White ran away, the king sent out a search party and the queen employed her best huntsman to track down the girl. Once leaving the castle, the huntsman easily traced Snow White’s location and kindly requested that she return to the castle with him. Snow White refused, so the huntsman gently picked up Snow White and placed her on the saddle behind him and gently nudged his horse, Arion, along. Snow White kicked and screeched as she, the huntsman, and Arion trotted back to the castle.

Three dwarves named Groggy, Weepy, and Gutsy, heard Snow White’s deafening screech. “It’s so loooud.” exclaimed Weepy before melting into a pile of tears. Gutsy ran toward the sound while Groggy slowly pulled the now sprawled out Weepy after him. Groggy arrived at the scene and dunked behind a bush followed by Groggy and a quietly sniffing Weepy.

On the other end of the large bush Snow White was shouting “Woah horse!” and kicking the huntsman’s shins while the huntsman was saying “Giddy-up!” and trying to avoid getting smacked on the face by branches. Poor Arion didn’t know what to do and just trotted around in circles.

“She’s being kidnapped” sobbed Weepy quietly, “Such a tragedy!”

“I’ll get this” muttered Groggy, pulling out a blunderbuss and ramming dirt clods, thistle plants, and a unfortunate snail named Horace into the barrel.

“You dum-dum,” hissed Gutsy, “You couldn’t even hit the broadside of a cow with that gun and.. Don’t point that thing at me!” Gutsy placed his finger on the barrel and pushed it down and away from him. “Let me show you how to really do it .” Gutsy pulled a throwing knife from it’s sheath and aimed at the huntsman. Just as he was about to throw, Weepy caught sight of Horace the snail in the barrel of Groggy’s gun, and he burst into tears causing Gutsy to whip his head around and bury his knife into a maple tree (which coincidently did not have a name).

Just as Gutsy was turning to yell at Groggy and Weepy, the huntsman peered over the bush. “Anything I can help you fellows with?” he inquired kindly.

“Well actually…” began Gutsy.

“There’s a snail in the gun,” wailed Weepy.

The huntsman leaned over and carefully pulled Horace from the gun’s barrel.

“Thank you ever so much,” sniffed Weepy, composing himself.

“It was nothing,” smiled the huntsman just as Snow White struck the back of his head with a box of hardtack. The huntsman slumped forward.

Quickly Snow White jumped off Arion. “We will save you from your kidnapper!” exclaimed Weepy trying to contort his face into a smile, but failing miserably.

“Shuttup” growled Gutsy slapping Weepy in the back of his head. Groggy attempted a halfhearted slap of his own. Turning back to Snow White, Gutsy bowed, introduced them all, and said, “If you wish, you may come back to our house, sip some tea, and tell us why that man was trying to kidnap you.”

Snow White was cold and was glad for the offer, “Yes, I will.”


As the three dwarves led Snow White toward their cottage, Horace began a long, long crawl from his rescuer’s finger to his face to see if the huntsman needed mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

To be continued…