The continuing diary of Flopsy who is vacationing at our house while Oma and Opa are in eSwatini. *

Hello Momma and Daddy, I miss you a lot.

Today I was able to try a new kind of drink other than water. It was called Mate and it is a tea made from the leaves of a Yerba plant. It is a very popular drink in South America. To make the tea you fill the Mate cup up until it it about halfway full of Mate Yerba. Next you add the Mate straw into one side of the tea and fill the cup up the rest of the way with warm water. You can drink the first two or three cups of Mate, but it is extremally bitter. If you want, dump the bitter Mate down the sink. After that the Mate should be good to drink. Just drink all the water out of the cup with the straw and refill it until it gets too weak for you. If you want you can add sugar or another sweetener.

That is how you make Mate.

I love you and miss you a lot! -Flopsy

*Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this blog post are those of Flopsy McGuire and do not necessarily reflect the real event or happenings.

The continuing diary of Flopsy who is vacationing at our house while Oma and Opa are in eSwatini. *

Dear Mommy and Daddy.  Guess who came to visit me?  Rachel and David!  I was amazed they were so excited to see me that they came very early in the morning.  But what I don’t understand–Rachel was here only a little while and then she and Adrian disappeared!  I have not seen either of them since.  I heard something about “camp”.  How dare they go to camp WITHOUT ME!!!

But David.  He missed me so much that he stayed over and played with me for a long time!  I even heard that he is going to come get me to visit at his house on Thursday!  I am so excited!!

P.S. It INFURIATES me that I STILL can’t sit on the couch, it’s a DISGRACE!!!  Also I over heard rumors that Audrey will be here while I am AWAY!!! It is AWFUL, TERRIBLE!

Flopsy is at our house for two months while Oma and Opa are in eSwatini. She requested to write another blog, and so I let her*

Dear Mommy and Daddy. I AM MAD!!! I am mad at EVERYONE (except for Megan, she is the (second) best). But I am kind of mad at Audrey, she is NOT here. If she was, she would NOT allow this unacceptable behavior.

First; I am mad at the gate. Megan lets me downstairs whenever she goes down. It is like I am in house arrest. A noble figure such as myself should not be under arrest. The British queen can get away with MURDER of all things and not get prosecuted. I did nothing wrong, and I’m stuck here in this house. It’s just not fair! But that is not the worst thing.

I also cannot go outside without a leash. Revolting! I cannot stand to have my dignity thrown away like that!

But the absolute worst is Couch Restriction. I am not allowed on the furniture at all. Whenever someone sees me on the couch, they pick me up and put me on the floor. The HARD, COLD, WOODEN, floor. That is not how a regal is treated! I tried peaceful protests by hopping up onto the couch, and shamefully, I stuck out my tongue. I know queenly personnel should not do such a disgraceful thing, but my emotions got the better of me. After realizing my mistake, I decided to stop the protests for now until I can control myself. So currently I am sobbing on my bed ON THE FLOOR!

I am sorry for all this anger, I know it is not your fault. I love you Mommy and Daddy. See you in about six weeks. Love Flopsy.

*Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this blog post are those of Flopsy McGuire and do not necessarily reflect the real event or happenings.

Flopsy is at our house for two months while Oma and Opa are in eSwatini. She requested to write a blog, and so I let her*

Dear Mommy and Daddy. I have been here for almost TWO WEEKS, and not once have I seen Audrey. The first few days I thought she was on a trip with some friends, but she still has not come back! I like Megan though, and to show that I love her, I whine whenever she leaves the house or goes downstairs without me, (which is often).

In fact, the first day I got here, Adrian put up this weird white thing with bars on it. The first thing that I thought when I saw it was Am I in prison?!? then I thought Is anyone else stuck up here because of that?. But then everyone else opened the white bars and then closed them again, they made it look easy. Oh how I wished I could stand on my back legs and have opposable thumbs, then it would be harder for them to lock me up!

I wasn’t the only one who couldn’t open the gate, other people couldn’t either. Saturday night some people came over and none of them could open it. Same with Señora Swart, the kids Spanish tutor, she still can’t.

I do not mind this ginormous cage. Many people come to the house that I do not know and pet me. I do not know what they are saying, but is probably along the lines of; “that dog is the absolute best dog I have ever seen in my life. Her barks are nothing short of beautiful music, and she sits like a regal queen upon her soft throne”. Or something like that.

Oh well. That is all I will write today, but I will write more soon. I love you two a lot and cannot wait for you to come back. Love Flopsy.

 

*Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this blog post are those of Flopsy McGuire and do not necessarily reflect the real event or happenings.

Dear Mommy, how are you? I’m fine but a little sad, something terrible has happened between me and Thor! First of all happy fifty-first anniversary to you today!

But I hope you come to rescue me from here. I had some fun here but most of it was by myself. I won’t miss anyone here, not even Thor. It makes me cry to think of him. I hope I can get through the whole story.

The terrible incident happened this morning. I’m was in shock over it, and I still am. It started like this: It was dreary out and I was bored, I think Thor was too. Then all of a sudden Thor started telling me what he ‘really thought’ about me. He told me I was loud and tiny and, and, and…. It makes me want to cry about the rest he said. He said I was not really the dog for him, but he told me we still could be friends. I could not believe it, I did not cry, not at first. Then I snapped a sharp “IT CAN’T BE” at him, then Megan came and I tried to tell her to get away (a little to loud) and I got yelled at. Then Audrey came and took me downstairs to my cage. I was glad I was there at first, I cried the tears that would not come around Thor. It took about fifteen minutes to calm down from that. Then I got really mad! I started running around my cage barking furiously, then Andrea came and took me out and told me to be quiet. I was ready to do that, and I felt better but I’m still having mixed emotions at Thor.

Before you get too sad about not getting a dog-in-law, I also had a lot of fun. Here is some of the fun stuff I did.

• I played in the leaf pile with Thor (before he dumped me).
• I took a short, brisk walk every day
• I played with Squeaky Ball a lot
• I had fun running around outside
• I liked my gourmet food I got every weekend
• I enjoyed playing outside by myself (on a leash)

Oh, I just saw a REALLY cute dog out the window. So dark and handsome. Pardon me while I go sing and dance out the window and hope he notices me. Agh he’s moving so fast. Dear Mommy, I hope you come home soon. I love you and miss you. Tell Daddy happy fifty-first!

Love Flopsy.

Dear Mommy, remember in the last letter I told you about Thor? He’s great, however he is one of my only lights in this dark prison.

Some of my problems are:

• I can’t go unto furniture ever since my little accident that I will not mention right now.
• I can only go unto my bed and the rug.
• Audrey leaves often; everyday!
• They put me in my kennel when they leave (even though I go in there when you leave anyway), and Thor gets to roam the house!
• When I go out I have to go on a leash (most of the time) because of an incident that happened years ago, everyone thought I ran away even though I was going to change into my alter ego Super Whiny Dog and no one should see me do that!

But there are a few high points too, like every weekend we get to watch a movie (but usually the prison wardens get to pick). This weekend we watched a really scary movie! A guy kept turning into a rabbit and (even scarier) a rabbit kept turning into a person! I whimpered near Audrey, but Thor was not afraid! I guess because he’s so big he’s not.

The prison wardens really dislike my singing; I try to sing softly but I cannot! I start out quietly but soon I just start belting out the chorus. Then I get told to be quiet and stop yapping. I try to tell them I’m singing a melody but the prison wardens don’t appreciate really good music. Thor thinks my singing is good but he says he prefers Deep Dog music, I think that he really likes it but won’t admit it.

I also sing and dance to tell the wardens that someone is visiting, but they don’t like that either. They make Thor and me go sit in front of the kitchen and ‘say hi’ but it’s never for us. Why do they make us do it then? When someone comes they also tell us to be quiet but I have a welcome song for them. I wish sometime soon someone would find my true talent and when I get famous I’ll show the prison wardens a thing or two.

Thor tries to comfort me and sometimes he helps me, sometimes not. He tells me my singing is great (I knew he liked it), but when I start singing for him I get yelled at and my problems worsen. He also tries to smooth my hair, but I’m a lady and can do it myself. He also protects me from a evil black thing called a Bowling Ball.

A few problems comes from Thor.

• He (not purposely) slobbers a lot, sometimes I let him finish up my food and his slime is all over the bottom.
• Another problem is that he’s not ‘civilized’. I guess his problem is that he was not brought up correctly, he chews his paw in the presence of a lady (me), he eats with his mouth open, he sheds a lot, and he snores. I might have to find him some nasal pads or something (and a book of manners).
• He also walks by me and I’m afraid he might step on me.

Dear Mommy I miss you. Please come here soon and post my bail.

Love,

Flopsy.

Dear Mommy I miss you a LOT, but it’s sorta fun here. I go on walks everyday with Thor (The big, strong, cute dog that lives here). We don’t go very far, just about two houses down and back, then Audrey (My best friend here) leaves for a bit and I’m sad even though she always comes back.

Every person (counting Audrey) don’t like it when I sing and am happy, even though my song is famous. My song goes like this: Yap yap yaaap, yip yap yip-yip yap, aarooo! and so on. I feel like every dog my size knows it. Everyone here just don’t know I was born to sing and dance. Thor barks in unison when I sing but he’s not a great dancer. He has two left feet! I think he really likes me!

Talking about Thor I think he’s a wonderful dog. He’s brown and big and has a deep masculine bark, it’s great! Did I tell you he’s cute? He is! Like any dog he has some problems (not counting his dancing): He always pretends to ignore me (other then when I sing), he eats a lot, he gets more responsibilities then me (even though I’m older), and he slobbers big time. Other then that I think he’s a nice dog.

I composed some poems about him. Here are some of them:

The cute dog snores very loud,
but he ignores me.
So I think he likes me lots.

Though big
He's dreamy
Overly cute, and
Really nice.

Dear Mommy this is all I will write right now. I have more but I think Audrey just left, I need to go whine out the window now to keep up my streak, Thor is counting (when he’s not sleeping or ignoring me) and I’m doing very well (and loud Thor tells me). Talk to you later, I love and miss you a lot — Flopsy