Daddy, this is a poem for you
But it's OK to let others read too
Happy birthday to you
You've been married 51 years
Through many happy moments and tears
(And you have me too)!
You've had ten children and me
And many grandchildren that see
That you're awesome and fun
And they love you a ton
And know you're also first rate.
I love you lots (and Mommy does too)
Happy birthday to you
And I hope your day is great!
Dear Mommy, how are you? I’m fine but a little sad, something terrible has happened between me and Thor! First of all happy fifty-first anniversary to you today!
But I hope you come to rescue me from here. I had some fun here but most of it was by myself. I won’t miss anyone here, not even Thor. It makes me cry to think of him. I hope I can get through the whole story.
The terrible incident happened this morning. I’m was in shock over it, and I still am. It started like this: It was dreary out and I was bored, I think Thor was too. Then all of a sudden Thor started telling me what he ‘really thought’ about me. He told me I was loud and tiny and, and, and…. It makes me want to cry about the rest he said. He said I was not really the dog for him, but he told me we still could be friends. I could not believe it, I did not cry, not at first. Then I snapped a sharp “IT CAN’T BE” at him, then Megan came and I tried to tell her to get away (a little to loud) and I got yelled at. Then Audrey came and took me downstairs to my cage. I was glad I was there at first, I cried the tears that would not come around Thor. It took about fifteen minutes to calm down from that. Then I got really mad! I started running around my cage barking furiously, then Andrea came and took me out and told me to be quiet. I was ready to do that, and I felt better but I’m still having mixed emotions at Thor.
Before you get too sad about not getting a dog-in-law, I also had a lot of fun. Here is some of the fun stuff I did.
I played in the leaf pile with Thor (before he dumped me).
I took a short, brisk walk every day
I played with Squeaky Ball a lot
I had fun running around outside
I liked my gourmet food I got every weekend
I enjoyed playing outside by myself (on a leash)
Oh, I just saw a REALLY cute dog out the window. So dark and handsome. Pardon me while I go sing and dance out the window and hope he notices me. Agh he’s moving so fast. Dear Mommy, I hope you come home soon. I love you and miss you. Tell Daddy happy fifty-first!
Dear Mommy, remember in the last letter I told you about Thor? He’s great, however he is one of my only lights in this dark prison.
Some of my problems are:
I can’t go unto furniture ever since my little accident that I will not mention right now.
I can only go unto my bed and the rug.
Audrey leaves often; everyday!
They put me in my kennel when they leave (even though I go in there when you leave anyway), and Thor gets to roam the house!
When I go out I have to go on a leash (most of the time) because of an incident that happened years ago, everyone thought I ran away even though I was going to change into my alter ego Super Whiny Dog and no one should see me do that!
But there are a few high points too, like every weekend we get to watch a movie (but usually the prison wardens get to pick). This weekend we watched a really scary movie! A guy kept turning into a rabbit and (even scarier) a rabbit kept turning into a person! I whimpered near Audrey, but Thor was not afraid! I guess because he’s so big he’s not.
The prison wardens really dislike my singing; I try to sing softly but I cannot! I start out quietly but soon I just start belting out the chorus. Then I get told to be quiet and stop yapping. I try to tell them I’m singing a melody but the prison wardens don’t appreciate really good music. Thor thinks my singing is good but he says he prefers Deep Dog music, I think that he really likes it but won’t admit it.
I also sing and dance to tell the wardens that someone is visiting, but they don’t like that either. They make Thor and me go sit in front of the kitchen and ‘say hi’ but it’s never for us. Why do they make us do it then? When someone comes they also tell us to be quiet but I have a welcome song for them. I wish sometime soon someone would find my true talent and when I get famous I’ll show the prison wardens a thing or two.
Thor tries to comfort me and sometimes he helps me, sometimes not. He tells me my singing is great (I knew he liked it), but when I start singing for him I get yelled at and my problems worsen. He also tries to smooth my hair, but I’m a lady and can do it myself. He also protects me from a evil black thing called a Bowling Ball.
A few problems comes from Thor.
He (not purposely) slobbers a lot, sometimes I let him finish up my food and his slime is all over the bottom.
Another problem is that he’s not ‘civilized’. I guess his problem is that he was not brought up correctly, he chews his paw in the presence of a lady (me), he eats with his mouth open, he sheds a lot, and he snores. I might have to find him some nasal pads or something (and a book of manners).
He also walks by me and I’m afraid he might step on me.
Dear Mommy I miss you. Please come here soon and post my bail.
Dear Mommy I miss you a LOT, but it’s sorta fun here. I go on walks everyday with Thor (The big, strong, cute dog that lives here). We don’t go very far, just about two houses down and back, then Audrey (My best friend here) leaves for a bit and I’m sad even though she always comes back.
Every person (counting Audrey) don’t like it when I sing and am happy, even though my song is famous. My song goes like this: Yap yap yaaap, yip yap yip-yip yap, aarooo! and so on. I feel like every dog my size knows it. Everyone here just don’t know I was born to sing and dance. Thor barks in unison when I sing but he’s not a great dancer. He has two left feet! I think he really likes me!
Talking about Thor I think he’s a wonderful dog. He’s brown and big and has a deep masculine bark, it’s great! Did I tell you he’s cute? He is! Like any dog he has some problems (not counting his dancing): He always pretends to ignore me (other then when I sing), he eats a lot, he gets more responsibilities then me (even though I’m older), and he slobbers big time. Other then that I think he’s a nice dog.
I composed some poems about him. Here are some of them:
The cute dog snores very loud,
but he ignores me.
So I think he likes me lots.
Overly cute, and
Dear Mommy this is all I will write right now. I have more but I think Audrey just left, I need to go whine out the window now to keep up my streak, Thor is counting (when he’s not sleeping or ignoring me) and I’m doing very well (and loud Thor tells me). Talk to you later, I love and miss you a lot — Flopsy
For school Mom made us write a paragraph about dragons. Then she told us to draw a picture representing our ideas about dragons. Most of my paragraph was about how they were dangerous most of all to goats, sheep, and princess. So I drew a picture about how they were dangerous to the princess. (It also shows their ways of cooking).
Starring The One & Only Bob The Butterfly and also Audrey McGuire In;
Coming Soon to Milkweed Theaters Near You
Starring: Bob the Butterfly & Audrey McGuire. Co-Starring: Bob the Caterpillar, Megan McGuire, Bob the Black Swallowtail, Joyce McGuire, Ophryocystis Eleckroscirrha, Andrea McGuire & Chalcid the Wasp. Produced By; McGuire TV. Director; Adrian McGuire.